Yesterday I ran 3 miles without stopping, so what right…people run that and more all the time. Here is why it is my big achievement. At 3 years old I was diagnosed with Asthma. I spent my childhood clinging to my Ventolin. Gym class was often uncomfortable and having to take my Ventolin in public always felt like a dorky weakness. When we were tasked with going for a 1KM run I could run for maybe a quarter of it before having to stop and collect my breath. These early experiences filled me with a deep fear of pushing my body I always felt that if my heart rate went up it could threaten my life.
At 20 years old I found Yoga and Yoga Nidra, with years of practice my relationship with my body, mind and spirit were completely transformed for the better. First of all my breathing dramatically changed as I learned how to communicate and connect with my body, I found the link between my posture and my breath, I found the link between my fear and my breath and most importantly I learned how to control the way my body was responding; I learned that I had control and I began cultivating my power. I then found Ortho-Bionomy which has continued to challenge my body, mind and spirit in a totally new way.
Now I am 30 years old and I no longer identify as being Asthmatic. A couple years ago went for a Pulmonary Function test because I could feel that things had changed and my results came back that my lung function was totally normal. Fast forward to Spring 2015, one day I felt something strange, something, I had never felt before, it was like my legs were calling to the earth, to connect and be with the earth. I wanted to run! This was totally new because I’ve NEVER IN MY LIFE FELT LIKE RUNNING, ever. Trusting this implies I bought some running shoes and went out one night to give it a go. Immediately I felt my legs in a way that told me “You’ve never truly felt your legs before” and I saw in my mind as I began to run how my body was woven into the earth. I could feel the energy of my whole body anchored and supported and my upper body felt light, my lungs were free. There was space in my chest and I was relaxed. In this first run I started and stopped a lot mostly because my fear program was still active, I was afraid if I kept doing it I would surely not be able to breathe. Months went by and I continued to step out for runs only when I felt the impulse. Yesterday was one of those days, so I ran, I kept running and kept running, reaching a point when I began to feel euphoric, totally free and so powerful like there is nothing I can’t do. My body was telling me “We got this, you don’t need to stop!” I felt like shouting and cheering for myself, “You DID IT” “You’re OK” “Not only OK you’re fucking GREAT”.
Yoga Asana and Ortho-Bionomy taught me how to be in partnership with my body; how not to be afraid of it. Yoga Nidra has shown me the nature of my fear and that I am the creator of my reality! It all seemed to come full circle as I closed in on 3 Miles yesterday, all the teachings I’ve been given and have known in my intellect, I was now experiencing in a new way, manifest in my physical experience. We truly can overcome our perceived limitations if we are willing to dig in, uncover and face the fear we are holding.